Merriam-Webster’s definition: 2. a way of behaving or appearing that gives other people a false idea of your true feelings or situation
Facades are wonderful things. Yeah – I just said that, and I’ll say it again! Facades are wonderful things!
Facades can be used to protect us from hurtful and harmful situations. Facades can be used to protect other people from the hurtful and harmful things we’re thinking or feeling. Facades must be used in order to get through some of the more difficult times that we all face in life.
When my dad died, my #1 role was to support my mother. Of course I was grieving. Of course my heart and soul hurt. But my mom needed someone to be strong for her, and the only someone available was me. So, I put on my facade and dealt with the things that needed to be dealt with and cared for her as best I could. And then a few days later, when mom had gotten through the worst of her grief, I let my facade down slowly and started my own grieving process. If it hadn’t been for a good, strong facade, I couldn’t have been the support she needed.
As a leader in church, there are times when I have to deal with disciplinary issues – it just comes with the territory. I rely on my facade to let me still be a compassionate and judicious leader while waiting for the right moment to deal with a problem. Without that facade, I would be irrational, emotional and potentially hurtful – causing major problems when a softer word, spoken at a later time, could handle the situation more effectively.
I know we’ve all heard that facades are bad and that we should be doing everything we can to break down the facades in our lives. But really, the only facades that are bad are the ones that we don’t know about. Right about now you’re probably wondering ” How can you not know you have a facade?” Facades we don’t know about are the ones that occur when we are deceived about ourselves. James 1:22 says “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” Galatians 6:7 “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” 1 John 1:8 “If we say that we have not sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
When you talk about prayer, but don’t pray – when you read about love but don’t show it to others – when you train others how to grow and develop, but you don’t practice what you teach – you are already deceived, you’re wearing a facade and you probably don’t even know it!
So yes – those facades are bad and need to be destroyed in our lives so that we can be all that we’re called to be. But just because one kind of facade is bad doesn’t mean they all are!
My 3-year old niece recently painted a picture for me and she asked “Is it pretty?” Well, to be honest, no it wasn’t – it was a great big mess and wasn’t pretty at all. Thank God for Aunt Facade!!!! I told her it was the prettiest painting I ever saw. I can do that in love with no conviction at all, because I know she wasn’t really asking about the painting, she was really asking “Do you love me” and that answer is YES all the way. But if I were to get hung up on YOU’VE GOT TO BE REAL ALL THE TIME NO MATTER WHAT, then she would have been hurt for no good reason at all.
So yes, I’ll say it one more again 🙂 – facades are wonderful things!