I was talking to a distant relative recently and they asked “So how’s life treating you?” and all I could answer was, “Oh, you know, the same old same old”. I honestly couldn’t think of anything interesting that’s happened in my life recently. This made me start thinking, is my life really that boring?
Of course not! I’m busy all the time, mostly doing things that I love with people whom I love. Overall, I’ve got a great life! So, why did I have that mental road-block? What made me resort to some lame, non-committal answer? It’s really been bothering me.
So I did the usual self-psych evaluation: Am I just trying to turn the attention off of me so that I don’t have to talk about myself or my life? No way. I’m just like anyone else, I love to talk about me. OK, am I just trying to avoid the typical long debate about my religious beliefs and how I’m “throwing my talents away”? Possibly… but no, I never mind having that debate. Plus, I actually tried and couldn’t think of anything outside of “I get up, I go to work, I go to church, I go to meetings, I work on music, I go to sleep”. Just a series of repetitive actions – wash, rinse, repeat.
Then it hit me – somewhere along the way, I had stopped enjoying my life! I got so caught up in the repetitive actions of day to day living that the reasons behind why I do what I do stopped being in the forefront of my mind and heart. WOW!
I’ve heard a lot of teaching about familiarity and how being too familiar with a person or thing can cause you to lose respect or take them for granted, but I’ve never thought about that applying to my day to day life as well. I’ve become so accustomed to being “busy” that I’ve started sleepwalking through my life, passing from one duty to the next like a zombie endlessly in search of brains. I’ve been taking my own blessed and happy and stressed and miserable life for granted! I’ve been washing, rinsing and repeating, completely forgetting that the whole point was to have some nice, clean hair that could be styled and worn out on the town with my man! (I’m a fan of the metaphor.)
So, the trick is to break the cycle in my mind, without necessarily breaking the cycle in actions and deeds, because stuff still has to get done. The sun still rises every day and sets every night, on and on without end. And our lives have to continue on through the duties and requirements of day to day living, but I’m learning, still and always, how to better enjoy the journey.