Every year at our church, we take 40 days during the beginning of the year to set aside time to seek God. Now, I know this can sound a little weird because “Who knew God needed to be found?”, but it’s actually scriptural: Heb 11:6 But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. We call this time “seeking time”.
In the past, seeking time for me has been all about denying my flesh (fasting), feeding my spirit (praying), feeding my soul (reading the bible) and communing with God (worshiping). I’ve created elaborate plans and schedules to be sure I prayed 40 hours each week, or spent 25 hours every week in worship, or what have you. I’ve even gotten into pride over the amount of praying and fasting that I’ve done and had to spend time fasting in secret repentance. :) You see, it’s always been about “mortifying the deeds of the body”; through denying the body of food, you’re letting it know that you – the real you – is in control. Then, you are better able to live your life for God without the constant struggles of the “flesh” – what we would call the carnal nature, or the old, un-regenerated man.
This year is a little different for me. It seems to be all about simplifying my relationship with God. He is in me and I am in Him. Where in previous years, my main concern was denying myself, this year, my main concern is searching out where God is in things. God is in my everyday life – I believe this to be true – but where can I see him? Where can I hear Him? God is concerned with my health and my happiness – but where is He when I overeat? Where is He when I argue with the people I love?
Now – I know that He IS there, that’s not the real question – the question is, what does He think about my life? Where is He actively participating in my life? Where would He like to be a part and I’m not letting Him?
Filed under: Self-reflection